What dads really need
All loving parents want their children (bio-kids, adopted kids, chosen kids, neighborhood kids) to grow up in safety, to be healthy and happy, to find their path forward.
Last month, I considered how to take care of mothers (bio-moms, adopted moms, chosen moms) in ways more meaningful than chocolate and flowers. (Nothing against chocolate and flowers - we could all use more of those!)
As we recognize fathers this month (bio-dads, adopted dads, chosen dads, father-figures), I wondered if they need anything different. It’s curious, isn’t it, how we genderize so many things, including honoring parents. Why would moms and dads need different days? Do we really turn to moms for nurturing and dads for mentoring - or are those socialized stereotypes that have the potential to limit both roles unnecessarily?
All loving parents want their children (bio-kids, adopted kids, chosen kids, neighborhood kids) to grow up in safety, to be healthy and happy, to find their path forward and build a full, meaningful life.
Dads do not want to grieve the loss of their children to violence, the erasure of their children’s identity to political posturing and fear-mongering, the separation from their children in punishing migrations.
Lifting children out of poverty, making sure they have access to medical and mental health care, protecting them from gun violence, supporting their teachers so they get a great education: these are all gifts to dads (and moms and nonbinary parents).
So let’s do those things, instead of (or in addition to) giving more ties, shaving kits, and sports gear. Or chocolate and flowers (because dads can love those, too.)