This is grief.

We grieve the loss of something because it is worthy: peace, justice, inclusion. But they are not lost to us for good as long as we stay on the journey to find (and recreate) them.

After several months of all-out busy-ness, work and family, as the holiday break arrived, I hit a wall. I know this feeling - it starts in my stomach, makes me wonder if I ate some bad food. Day one is full of anxiety. Day two I rest, and realize:

I think this is grief.

I grieve for the country we could have had, led by a competent, intelligent, democracy-supporting woman. I grieve for the feeling of betrayal that so many of my fellow Americans chose to support a so-called leader who does not care about me (or them), my health (or theirs). I grieve for the pain being caused and the pain that is coming.

I grieve for the loss of rest, caused by the chaos to come. I grieve for the loss of global stability. I grieve for the chaos already exploding through our political, social, and economic structures.

I grieve for the wounds that left people open to the misinformation, disinformation, and lies of the campaign. I grieve for the wounds to relationships in my circle, people whose uninformed and, in some cases, openly misogynist defense of their choices have irrevocably changed my perceptions of them.

Grief has its own logic and timelines, its own rhythm and waves. We ride it out, we do not get over it or put it behind us. While we ride, we stay as engaged as we can with the sources of sorrow, and with our communities, knowing that caring for others offers good companionship along the way.

Are you in grief? Is grief in you? If so, know you are not alone. Know that your grief will be a journey, and within every journey, there is learning and growth. Not the kind we would have chosen, were it up to us, certainly. But there, nonetheless.

And remember this, too: we grieve the loss of something because it is worthy. Peace, democracy, justice, inclusion, are all deeply worthy of our grief. They have suffered a terrible setback, but they are not lost to us for good, as long as we stay on the journey to find (and recreate) them again.

The imperative in the grieving cycle, as in any moment on the journey through life, is to take care of oneself, take care of one another, feel deeply, breathe deeply, and let go of expectations. We find our way, as always, one step at a time.

Be safe and well, and see you in the new year.