For fathers

What they need most is for us to all band together to support a just, inclusive, safe community for their children to rise in.

Fathers - and all the folks who become father figures, elders who help youngers with role models, support, inspiration, guidance, and love - are on our minds this third weekend of June.

In our social paradigms, we seem to need to divide relationship styles into “masculine” and “feminine.” “Fathering” conjures up a different set of emotions and images for many of us, as compared to “mothering.” Fathering a child typically refers only to the act that created that new being, whereas mothering implies a complex and ongoing nurturing relationship.

If we can set that aside, though, the commonalities emerge. Parenting, whether due to biological or chosen relationships, is the set of actions, behaviors, choices, and emotions that relate to bringing up younger members of the species in order to help them thrive. It also comprises a bond that can be unparalleled in its intensity and duration.

The essence of good parenting is that focus on the other: the willingness to invest time, energy, love, and, if called upon, sacrifice for the benefit and protection of the child. It is the celebration of that child’s growth into full, compassionate participation in the human family.

So a shout out to all who serve in this critical role - and to honor them, instead of more stuff, remember what they want most is time together. And what they need most is for us to all band together to support a just, inclusive, safe community for their children to rise in.

Here’s to them, with love.