Equality and accountability
Equality before the law relies on applying accountability fully and fairly, despite attempts to gaslight us into believing otherwise.
Recently I had a conversation with a friend about accountability for hurtful behavior. We talked about how hard it is to avoid giving the recipient of the hurtful behavior partial culpability for it, as we are socially trained to do. “Well, look what they were wearing,” we say. Or: “that person needs to stand up for themselves, no wonder they get walked all over.” Or even: “that person had it coming.”
We (at least in U.S. society) seem to find it very difficult to place full accountability for hurtful behavior on the person who does the behavior. As if, somehow, a person’s vulnerability, self-expression, or hurtful behavior itself is a license to commit harm against them.
Look at the so-called leaders who do anything to shift accountability for their harmful behavior away from themselves. One common gaslighting pattern goes something like this:
“I didn’t do it/it didn’t happen/you’re crazy.”
“I did it, but it’s fine. I’m allowed to, because of my power/position.”
“It wasn’t that bad. You (or whomever was harmed) overreacted/misunderstood.”
“Other people have done much worse, and they were not caught/punished.”
“I wouldn’t have done it, but you provoked me/made me.”
“I did it for your own good.”
“You would have done the same thing, in my place.”
Are we not seeing, hearing, reading all of these accountability avoiding strategies in the news? All the while, as we try to teach our rising young folk to be accountable, apologize truly for harm their actions cause, these important lessons for upholding respect in our human community are obliterated at the top levels of power.
And, as a whole, we are also hiding behind many of these strategies when it comes to avoiding accountability for causing (and ameliorating) the climate crisis. “It’s not happening, these are normal variations, we don’t need to change, we can’t change, the economic impact will be too harsh, other countries/regions are worse, we have the right to extract fossil fuels and make billions in profits, you would too, if you profited, if we don’t allow rampant profits there will be no motivation for businesses.”
Come on. We know these things aren’t true in our interpersonal behavior, despite attempts through culture wars to paint the most vulnerable among us as somehow threatening to “our children.” And we know they aren’t true economically as well.
Equality before the law relies on applying accountability fully and fairly. More power = more potential for harm = more importance of full and fair accountability.
To build the inclusive communities all humans need and deserve, we need to push back the gaslighting and hold the powerful (and ourselves) accountable.
Thank you for your company on this journey.